Boyfriend jeans are just any jeans that are way too small for me, if we’re going by past relationships.
Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?
Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.
Why are so many of the oldest sculptures of humans fat?
cuz thats what was worshiped as fertile, cause if you were fat you were doing good in life and everyone wanted a piece of that.
Anonymous said: i don't know why, but when i see your face it takes me a moment to breathe again. you are so beautiful. i think i'm falling for you.....
Oh no!! Wait lemme put this soft mattress here to catch you. Oh would you look at that, you’re in my bed.
smooth as fuck